


Mace Tyrell’s Unspeakably Miserable Life

by YeseniaT



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crack, GOT Medical science sucks, Multi, mentions of other minor relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25761439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeseniaT/pseuds/YeseniaT
Summary: Mace Tyrell, lord of Highgarden, did not know what the ill fate had done to him that made his life so miserable.
Relationships: Alerie Tyrell/Mace Tyrell, Oberyn Martell/Willas Tyrell, Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	Mace Tyrell’s Unspeakably Miserable Life

**Author's Note:**

> So this is an AU with modern marriage laws (same-sex marriage and divorce exist, etc.) and modern morals. I tried to adhere to canon timeline but could have failed miserably. Pure crack!

Mace Tyrell, lord of Highgarden, did not know what the ill fate had done to him that made his life so miserable. True, he might have gotten a little…. rounder than his beautiful lady wife and his unrelenting mother would have appreciated, and he might not(never) have the brain that (most of) his children and his mother have, but that does not mean that he should feel so miserable with all he loved ones alive and happy and his land and wealth intact. 

For gods’ sake, he had been so successful before! Well, at least from his perspective. He had a quite good childhood: two lovely sisters, a kind father and an alive mother. Well it was not that he doesn’t love his mother—he loved her dearly and for most of the time he felt the feeling was reciprocated—but gods she jabbed at him! He had known that he was not for politics since age five when his mother gave his political ability the death sentence, when he told her he would rather hunt rabbits than reading history of Westeros. At least he won father’s sympathy, who looked at him apologetically with the expression “yeah I’ve been there buddy”. But even he knew that he was lucky, that his parents loved (tolerated, as his mother would say) each other, and that both of his parents were alive (he cannot believe how many highborn ladies died in childbirth! For gods’ sake what’s the point of having the Citadel if half of the lords’ wives died in the only ordeal they were expected to do in their married life, with several maesters in their castles). Every time he heard some lords died in battle or mutiny (or gods forbidden, whores’ beds) he became immensely grateful for this little family of his, even sometimes it was a little dysfunctional. Oh, and did he forget to mention that he was the only heir to a rich land with no bastard siblings? Yeah that too.

Anyway, Mace Tyrell considered himself even more successful when he got married. Alerie Hightower was, in his opinion, the most beautiful woman in the world, and smarter than him too, according to his mother. The Hightowers were wealthy and was closely linked with the Targaryens, even had married into the dragons. But really the most surprising thing is that he won Alerie’s heart, who, he must admit, could do a lot better than him. For that he could endure the lecture his mother gave him about the insanely large number of siblings that Alerie had and the importance of strengthening the bonds among the lords of the Reach. And his luck continued, as Alerie gave him four children and survived with good health. Lord Tywin Lannister’s precious lady wife died in childbirth not long after him and Alerie’s wedding, and he was reluctant to admit his fear to anyone after hearing that news. He thought Tywin was the most heartless man in the entire Westeros but clearly he had a heart for his late wife. Anyway, he was very embarrassed when he told Alerie his fear after Margery was born and she laughed with ferocity and told him that she was much harder to kill. He believed that his sweet wife was influenced by his mother on the senses of untimely humor. 

Ah, children, that was what made him so miserable. No, there was nothing wrong with his four beautiful children, but there was a lot of things wrong with the ones they decided to love. Well, three of them at least—he had no problem with that Fossoway girl. But seriously, if his heir and firstborn was to choose an inappropriate lover (husband now, he gritted his teeth), can’t he choose anyone other than that fucking Dornishman who CRIPPLED him? Gods knew how much willpower he used to stop himself from slapping Oberyn Martell and throw him out of Highgarden when Willas introduced him and told him that he intended to make a “political alliance” with Dorne. He knew little about politics, but even a smallfolk can look at those two and immediately tell such proposal had nothing to do with politics. No, he had nothing against same-sex marriage, as he grew up listening to his mother telling him about her stupid ex-fiancé who decided to marry his best friend—a hedge knight—instead of marrying her and died in battle five years into their marriage. It was the first time he heard a hint of admiration from his mother about anyone, dead or alive. Did she admire Daeron Targaryen’s courage to break off a politically arranged marriage or the way of life he chose—away from the power plays and wealth of his family and wonder around Westeros? He never asked. He knew the power of human emotion and respect the choice of his son, but he was still bitter about his choice of husband, who already had at least four daughters outside wedlock before meeting Willas. But hey, at least the fucking Dornish Prince agreed to share Willas with his family—half of year in Dorne and half of year in Highgarden, as if Willas was some poor goddess in the ancient tales!

Speaking of inappropriate life partner, Mace suppressed a sigh when he thought of his other son. Oh his sweet, beautiful, talented Loras, sent off to Storm’s End and never came back! Well he did came back but that was different. He was worried about Loras’ treatment in Storm’s End at first. You cannot expect people to treat a 10-year-old boy as they should when the boy’s father starved them for half a year not a decade ago. And Renly Baratheon, who lost both his parents when he was a baby and two brothers who were not the best role models. But Garlan was already too old to be a squire and he needed to follow the king’s order. At least Loras knew to use his sword very well, and the worst could happen would be him stabbing anyone who annoyed him at Storm’s End. But of course his little Loras got everyone in that castle of Storms’ End wrapped around his little fingure including Lord Renly himself. And on the fifteenth name day of Loras he opened a letter from Storm’s End and immediately burst into flames. How dare Renly Baratheon ask for Loras’ hands in marriage on Loras’ name day? For fuck sake every year after that, his favorite son’s named day would become such a painful event to him and Alerie! (Although Alerie disagreed and the name days in the following years did not turn out to be outright horrible, Mace still stood his ground.) Also Loras was only five and ten then—gods knew what those two stupid boys did in the dark rooms of Storms’ End before it. Anyway things did not get better when he opened another letter (after tossing the previous one into the fireplace but unfortunately missed the fire) and found that it was Loras who was pleading him to accept this marriage proposal. He was so hurt and of course did not reply to either of them. But ten days later Renly appeared at his doorstep with Loras who looked a little guilty, and that was when Mace knew things were going to get really, really bad. The young stag stayed for a month, sieging Mace for his approval (strengthened by Loras’ big, innocent golden eyes and secret talks with his mother and grandmother). By the end of the month, Mace admitted his defeat. But he was so satisfied to see Renly’s face turned to a strange color when Olenna warned Loras a little too loudly about his future husband becoming an oaf like his brother. And all Loras did was to laugh at his fiancé’s face and told his grandmother that their daily “trainings” would definitely keep Renly fit. 

Losing two sons to marriages was bad enough but losing Margery to the North was just adding salt to injuries. Seriously, Mace can’t even understand how Margery met Sansa Stark—weren’t those fucking wolves supposed to stay in the North? But no, their heir had to marry a Kraken and pledge their loyalty to the crown, and Ned had to bring his eldest daughter along with his son and son-in-law to King’s Landing, and Renly and Loras had to bring Margery to King’s Landing at the exact same time. Mace would never expect a marriage between a Stark and a Greyjoy in a thousand years. He was surprised that Theon Greyjoy was able to survive that long among the wolves for starters. But Starks in King’s Landing was always a bad sign, because Margery immediately fell head over heels for the she-wolf with Southron beauty. What a chaos! He later heard that Margery even suggested Sansa to elope with her to Highgarden to get over Sansa’s disastrous crush over Joffrey. He really hoped that they did, because the reality was that Margery caught Ned fucking Stark not two months later to suggest a marriage alliance between the North and the Reach, namely, her and Sansa. Mace Tyrell had no fucking idea how his precious little girl convinced Ned Stark to agree the proposal, but he was certain that it was with the enthusiastic help of Sansa Stark. And how could he not expect sweet, caring Margery not to accompany her fiancée back to Winterfell? Foolish old Mace, as Alerie affectionately told him.

Now Mace Tyrell, lord of Highgarden, had all four children happily married but felt more lost than ever. Had he done something wrong in the education of his children that made then to choose such…strange paths of life? Alerie repeatedly assured him that it was not the case, and mother only snorted and told him all her grandchildren had exceeded her expectations. Now the roses were truly growing strong across Westeros, but Mace knew his headache was not over: Edric Storm was coming to Highgarden to b squire Garlan. What a life!

**Author's Note:**

> In my headcanon of this story, Robert lives and only Joffrey was born out of incest. Dany stays in Meereen and rules Essos. All characters who were alive before s01e01 of GOT are alive in this story (including Jon Arryn). Renly and Loras adopted Edric Storm and Robb married Theon (quite clear in the story). Heirs do not need to be sons of the current ruler--they can be adopted or relatives of the ruler. Law of bastards is basically non-existent, and Catelyn Stark did not care who Jon's mother was because she would not blame a child for Ned's faults, according to modern morals and my interpretation of her personality. Cersi is still evil, sorry.


End file.
